Besides, when he was a baby I wasn't in a hurry to have any more babies because I was just enjoying him growing up and achieving all the milestones. Also because his birth had been difficult so I wasn't keen to repeat the experience hehe. Because I was studying and then working I felt like I didn't spend enough time with him. Like one of my friends said... "Tak puas manja dengan anak lagi".
Now with Thauban I realise that I can love someone else as much as I love my firstborn. He's so adorable, he reminds me of Layth when he was little. Perhaps I am a bit older now, and more confident so I am totally enjoying my brand new baby. In fact, now I feel a kind of 'addiction'...it's probably from the breastfeeding hormones but I wouldn't mind having more kids hehehehe.
The only problem now is that all I do with Layth these days is nag! I feel guilty that I find him annoying sometimes ... by dawdling when I tell him to take a shower or change his clothes. By talking non stop and sometimes whining when I'm slow to get him what he wants. By not eating meals at the right time. By not eating anything except snacks or plain rice or just bread and margarine. I can't wait for him to go to bed...but then I look at his sleeping face and feel so guilty for nagging and shouting at him during the day.
And I always hope tomorrow will be a day that I will behave a bit better hehehe.
Because I felt the same way, may I deduce that all mothers feel the same way too. That is about mula2 rasa tak boleh bagi love katb baby lain, but when a baby comes along, rasa there are just so much love I can give.
ReplyDeleteWe all do berleter kat anak2. Tak percaya come and stay in my house but without me consciously seeing you there. But if we compensate with love and care (justification), Insya Allah. Kalau tak di marahkan, nanti jadi spoilt brat pulak. kerja tak jalan.
You know Haziq still talks alot with me. I rasa sekarang soma cakap banyak. SOmetimes in teh car, all of them talks to em at the same time. Including ayah dia. AGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! But the, hey I prefer them talking than duduk in a corner tak cakap dgn I.
Tak apalah. You are doing a good job Insya Allah. Can see it in layth's happy face (yang you ambik gambarlah). Just take notice when he does a good thing. and praise him. even the smallest things.